warriorsfanficfandomcom-20200213-history
Dysfunction Junction
A/N: This is based on a Clan I came up with for one of my fanfictions. As I wrote out basic sketches for the cats' personalities, it became increasingly clear that every cat has some sort of trauma or psychological damage. This only exaggerates it a bit :P Bloodclaw stood pacing outside Graystar's den, plotting his revenge. "Soon, very soon, I shall kill that pitiful deputy Gorseheart and from there it shall be but a few steps away to leadership! MUAHAHAHAHA!" He then cursed himself for monologuing so loudly- loudly enough to wake his mate, Hawkflight. "No, not Gorseheart! Uh, I mean, sure! Go ahead! It'll be awesome!" "Yeah, won't it? Think of it- the glory, the power, all there for us!" "Yeah, glory and all that great stuff..." said Hawkflight, heading back inside. "Ooh, ooh, can we help?!" asked Lizardpaw and Berrypaw, popping out from behind a trashcan. "No, you're too young," said Bloodclaw gruffly. Berrypaw sulked, but Lizardpaw practically exploded. "I KEEL YOU! I KEEL YOU ALL!!" he shouted. He stalked off, presumably to form some murderous plot, while a distorted drum machine beat came from nowhere. The apprentice was heard muttering "This world rejects me...", but they couldn't hear the rest. "Where in the world did we go wrong?" Lizardpaw's mother Rowanberry asked herself, shaking her head. "Gorseheart and I tried our best..." "Well, sometimes kits turn out that way," said Hawkflight. "Bloodclawforinstance," she coughed. "Wait, what?" asked Bloodclaw. "Oh, nothing!" said Hawkflight quickly. "Don't you have something to do?" "Why yes. Welp, off to make my apprentice's life miserable!" Bloodclaw chirped. He bounded off. "DID SOMEONE SAY MISERABLE?!?!" exclaimed Brambleflower, bursting onto the scene quite unexpectedly. "BECAUSE THAT HAPPENS TO BE HOW I AM FEELING AT THIS MOMENT!!" She broke down into tears. "Now Brambleflower," said Rowanberry, "remember what Jayflight keeps saying about angst not being good for the kits." She put her tail gently on the crying queen's shoulder. "BUT FLAMEFUR DIED! HE WAS MY MATE! AND HE DIED! I HAVE A MATE WHO IS DEAD!!" "Ugh, will you shut up?" asked Willowfoot grumpily. "I'm already half-deaf without you wailing about how your mate died." Sensing an opportunity, Icewing appeared as well. "YOU NEVER LOVED ME MOMMY! AND YOU ALL HATE ME AND MY MATE, JUST BECAUSE HE'S NICE TO LONERS!" While Willowfoot tried to deal with her angsty daughter, other cats joined the fray. "Sandcloud, I'm tired of you pushing me around!" "Ivypaw, why don't you listen to me?!" "Pinefoot, why do you always act like a freakin' robot?!" "I never wanted to be part of Nettlefoot's gang. I wanted to be a lumberjack!!" At this last exclamation, Nettlefoot stopped. "Wait, how many of you are pretending to support me in order to fit in?" Spidertooth, Lionstrike, Sandcloud, Hawkflight and Crowfur all raised their paws. Nettlefoot did some quick calculations in his head. "So that leaves me with two annoying apprentices and Evil McCrazypants over there," he said, pointing to Bloodclaw. "Speaking of annoying apprentices," said Willowfoot, "where did Lizardpaw go?" The other cats looked around as some odd background music reached its peak. "I'M GONNA BURN THIS WHOLE WORLD DOOOOOWN!!!!" Lizardpaw threw himself with a yowl into the crowd, scattering the StoneClan cats. "That's it, we need family counseling!!" wailed Rowanberry. "Family? I think we need Clan counseling at this point!" replied Gorseheart, running alongside her. Graystar padded drowsily out of his den, stretching lazily. He had woken up just in time to see the last few warriors fleeing into the alleys. "What'd I miss?" Category:Fan Fictions Category:Ravenflight's Fanfictions